I cannot stress enough how important it is for us to learn to say “no”. Being able to set boundaries & communicate honestly is the 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 – with ourselves, with other humans, and with nature.

Quite often when we were children (and especially as girls), we didn’t get to give our consent on things and have continuously experienced our boundaries being overstepped – by parents, by teachers & other authoritative figures. 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝘂𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 in an honest way without receiving judgment or even punishment.

As adults, many of us end up becoming people-pleasers, and so we let other people step all over us & over our boundaries – clients, bosses, friends, family members, partners. 𝗪𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵, 𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘆 “𝗻𝗼”. We try to live up to other people’s expectations. That’s the true reason why we end up feeling exhausted & depleted.

Not only have we missed learning how to set boundaries. It is equally important that we respect other people for making their own choices. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝘀 “𝗻𝗼” 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀. When a person sets a boundary, in the best case it is a valuable piece of information for us to grow a healthy relationship with them. In the worst case, we learn that the demands on each other don’t match, and so we can move on & focus our energy elsewhere.

This ripples through all of society. We are all just a bunch of adults who think it’s okay to invade other people’s lives and 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗵𝗮𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗘𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝘁𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁. In return, we are so completely out of touch with what is right & wrong for us, because we never got to decide for ourselves what we really want and need. The decisions have always been made for us. We have grown up thinking that our “no” doesn’t have any value.

Hence why a crucial step towards healing ourselves & our society is to learn when is enough, to communicate them openly. 𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀. And the same way we shouldn’t take offense in someone saying “no” to us.

And so let’s teach our children about autonomy, that they can make their own decisions based on what feels good for them or not. When we understand that everyone & everything has a limit, and learn how to be respectful of that, we are finally able to fill up our own cups, instead of keep pouring from an empty one. And from there, we can grow to become more wholesome together.